Survival on the edge of Living

Honnermardu trip with fifteen angels was one of my best trips. For four days my life was so simple. Now when I look back, I am unable to answer a simple question - "Life which I lived for four days is my real life or life which i am living from my childhood is real". The latter is a life which can't be sustained without dependencies; dependencies which we have only created, for maintaining our living status. While I was talking to one of my friend, about this experience, he revealed a great point of view about "living versus surviving". What does a human want if he just leaves his or her living status? Food, isn't it?? Surviving is basic for a human and of attaining this; he or she is always capable. As living comes into picture, problems start. Creation of layers starts. A sense of presence starts. A sense of "survival of the fittest" starts. And this starts race, rage, violence, agony, depression etc.

When I was on four days of nirvana, I didn't have to care for my presentation, my status. I was like a free bird. Life is just enjoying with angels in laps of nature. But as I entered concrete jungle automatically all dependencies, layers, constraints started. Living took over survival.